It’s not that I’m a bad person…
I have terrific parking at work under the building adjacent to my office. My company’s got some kind of deal with them ‘cause they’re understaffed and we’re over. The only annoying thing is the ancient, slow, electric gate. Its hit-and-miss tag sensor can be irritating but the real niggle is the beam thingy.
The instant you cross the invisible line, the gate comes down- fast. It shudders to a halt if you again interrupt the beam, but the moment you’ve passed through it lurches down even faster. This predictable freak of engineering has bred a rather quaint etiquette among all who share the basement, and life underground is pretty darn good.
And then came that fateful day.
I was on my way out, I had tagged the gate open and as it rolled up I jumped into my car and fired her up. On the other side of the gate, a white delivery truck had arrived and was waiting there. I often saw the truck and driver- they were locals. I pulled out of my parking and just before I got to the gate- before the gate was even fully up- delivery guy punched it through and brought the gate on down. I was so angry my brain almost burst through my temples and splattered all over my window. In my minds eye I raced after him, ran the fucker off the road and ripped his windpipe out with my teeth.
This morning, as I was about to enter the parking after having tagged and waited for the gate, I spotted delivery guy approaching from the depth of the garage at escape velocity. It was as if the heavens had opened for me. I waited ‘till the last possible instant and then popped on through. Delivery bastard tried desperately to make it but ended up screeching to a halt right beside where I was idling. When he turned to glare daggers at me, I was waiting with the most smug expression my face is able to hold.
In fact, I’m still grinning.
It’s not that I’m a bad person. I’m just an agent of Karma.
I have terrific parking at work under the building adjacent to my office. My company’s got some kind of deal with them ‘cause they’re understaffed and we’re over. The only annoying thing is the ancient, slow, electric gate. Its hit-and-miss tag sensor can be irritating but the real niggle is the beam thingy.
The instant you cross the invisible line, the gate comes down- fast. It shudders to a halt if you again interrupt the beam, but the moment you’ve passed through it lurches down even faster. This predictable freak of engineering has bred a rather quaint etiquette among all who share the basement, and life underground is pretty darn good.
And then came that fateful day.
I was on my way out, I had tagged the gate open and as it rolled up I jumped into my car and fired her up. On the other side of the gate, a white delivery truck had arrived and was waiting there. I often saw the truck and driver- they were locals. I pulled out of my parking and just before I got to the gate- before the gate was even fully up- delivery guy punched it through and brought the gate on down. I was so angry my brain almost burst through my temples and splattered all over my window. In my minds eye I raced after him, ran the fucker off the road and ripped his windpipe out with my teeth.
This morning, as I was about to enter the parking after having tagged and waited for the gate, I spotted delivery guy approaching from the depth of the garage at escape velocity. It was as if the heavens had opened for me. I waited ‘till the last possible instant and then popped on through. Delivery bastard tried desperately to make it but ended up screeching to a halt right beside where I was idling. When he turned to glare daggers at me, I was waiting with the most smug expression my face is able to hold.
In fact, I’m still grinning.
It’s not that I’m a bad person. I’m just an agent of Karma.
posted by Uncle Evil at 3:24 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home